Hope and Darkness
by Inanis-spera
Summary: Even when the light withers forever and sanity is a distant memory, there is always hope.
1. Chapter 1

Homura woke up in her hospital bed, just like so many countless times before. She sat up, in no hurry. Summoned her shield. The first time in an eternity that she was unsure. Not wanting to face this. Anything but this. A hesitant reach inside and she pulled.

_Tink, tink_

She had succeeded.

And failed utterly.

* * *

_It will be okay Homura, I'll fix everything!_

* * *

Madoka ran through the twisted dream-scape. Checkered doors that went backwards. Patterned floors only half there. Spiral hallways that ran up-side down. The world changed but nothing truly moved. She could hear the cries for salvation and could do nothing. Madoka pushed open a wall marked 'go back' and the universe broke in. A thing. It looked like a gear with a doll pinned to it. A clock gear larger than a building. A doll silently crying, hurting, causing other to feel her pain. A girl in purple and black flew against the creature in the distance. She would fail. A nightmare of meaningless colors, noises twirled in the morning sky. Madoka did not watch alone.

Another girl, she knew it was herself, watched the two combatants not ten meters from where she should. A victory and loss already decided. She wore a green, filled and ruffled dress with black trim. It looked like something an anime character would wear. The other Madoka had known of her coming and turned to face herself. Silence reigned. She couldn't see anything in her doppelgangers face, but somehow the agony was clear. Held in her right hand was a wire-frame sphere with a thin spike coming from the bottom. The other whispered something too quiet to hear.

And Madoka woke up.

She was not sweating but felt like she had. The sensation of a painful decision that she would see through to the black end slept in her heart. She was shaking. The dream would not leave her. She got out of bed. She felt strong and weak. Expecting to hurt for some reason. Nothing was unusual. The sun shone in it's cheerful way. Nothing would ever be wrong. The glass walls seperated the light into a prism of magnificent colors. The dream was a dream she could ignore it and go on with perfect life. Nothing would ever change.

Madoka's day went by like any other. Waking mom up. Getting ready for school. Her dream lurked at the edges of her mind. It didn't feel like a dream. It would have faded by now. If anything the details were clearer. The patterns on the dress. Like a current in the ocean. The pain in the others eyes. The fight behind her back. It was not like a premonition, but a statement. Something beyond horrible and chosen had happened and now there was only the living with the decision.

Sayaka and Hitomi were just ahead. Madoka tried to push the dream aside. She didn't want her friends to be worried. As best she could, she smiled for them.

* * *

School went it's normal boring path. Poor Ms. Satome still had no luck with men. The last one complained of undercooked rice. One day she would find someone that appreciated her for being herself. A small break in routine roused Madoka from the same-old doldrums.

"Class we have a transfer student today. Her name is Homura Akemi." The transfer student walked in the class. Purple hair flowing behind her as she walked, she wore the standard uniform of the class with black stockings. Madoka felt like she should know Homura. A cloud of weary apathy hung over her. She stood as a testament of strength and beauty that had been taken outside and beaten with a golf club.

"She looks terrible", Sayaka whispered to Madoka.

Homura said her name and wrote it on the whiteboard. While she looked over the class her eyes fled from Madoka again and again. For her the pain was too raw and near. She took her seat. Whenever she was called to the front to solve a problem she obliterated with the same non-concern she gave everything else. She was noticed by all and did nothing to notice them. Gym fared the same. For all of Homura's fragility the school records were no match for her. Even the crowd of girls and boys that surrounded her didn't rouse her attention. She ignored everyone. It was only after gym that she spoke to Madoka.

"I'm not feeling well", Homura was noticeably paler than when she first walked in, "you are the health officer right? Could you please take me to the nurses office?"

"Of course!" Madoka chirped, happy to be of help. The pale girl nodded and walked along beside Madoka. The new girl looked like she needed a friend, and a shoulder to lean on. Madoka chatted with the non-responsive girl. Not caring if Homura was not answering back. She was new and needed a friend, that was all. Homura looked shy. She'd feel better once she got used to the school.

Madoka saw her reflection in the glass beside herself. The whole school was visible to anyone looking around. The glass reflected everything. A class across the building, people walking just outside. Sometimes at certain times of the year the sunlight would bounce through the windows just so that everyone would be color-shifted. For many it meant wearing a mask at all times to show people want they wanted to see. To hide their true selves. Madoka never wore a mask. She would always be herself.

She'd seen the small pains that could make people do things they'd later apologize for. The little triumphs and defeats that changed outlooks and behaviors. No-one was really bad in her mind. Just that bad things happened to them.

Homura walked like she knew where she was going. A feat she managed with her eyes closed and in obvious pain. "Hey, are you okay?" Madoka put her arm on the miserable girl's shoulder. Homura might not be used to someone who was friendly to her. Madoka didn't expect Homura to snap around and with barely an inch between them whisper:

"If someone gives you something too good to be true, it is." Homura refused to say anything more. Nothing Madoka tried would get the pale girl to open up.

* * *

After school at lunch, Madoka and her friends the new girl, Homura, was the center of the discussion.

"She needs some sleep." Sayaka declared. "She looks awful." The tom-boy normally liked to joke and be silly, but pain was off limits.

"She acts really sad. Like no-one talks to her." Madoka said. Sayaka scoffed. More than a few tried and got nowhere.

"Was she supposed to be released this soon? She looks very ill." Hitomi demurely asked. Madoka shrugged. Hitomi was a complete opposite to Sayaka. Gentle and empathic. Yet, they were best friends.

"She did great in gym. I think she just needs a friend."

"Uh oh, Madoka likes the sick ones! To bad! You're mai waifu!" Sayaka declared, hugging Madoka and pulling her close.

"Sayaka."

"Oh fine I'll invite her over for a burger tomorrow", she grumbled and went back to eating. Until she looked at her watch.

"Ah! I gotta get that CD for Kyousuke." Reluctantly the friends broke apart for the day. Sayaka so hopeful for the future, Madoka worrying over the new girl and Hitomi scared she would lose her best friend soon.

* * *

_What did you do?_

_I-I made a wish._

* * *

In the past Homura made plans, equipment and careful attempts at friendship. Now she made excuses. One more day and I'll do it. Just more time. Not here someone might see. Before long weeks past and she was running out of time.

Time. Once she had so much of it.

Time to talk with her friend, her only friend. Time to share their pains and joys. The time to fight for things. Time to struggle against the inevitable. Time to hurt. Time to watch her die. Time to see her friend, _her only friend, _be twisted into something horrible. Time to make her only friend hate her. Time to drive her away.

She knew that Kyubey, that little rat that caused all this, would be here. Under the mall. A witch would be by soon. Along with Mami, once someone she longed to be. Mami was as damned as Homura was. Waiting to trap her only friend. She told herself just a little more time. She marched over to where the alien hid. He never moved from that spot. With no small amount of joy she shot him. Just a little more time.

* * *

Kyubey watched the Puella Magi approach. Pure scientific curiosity his interest into her identity. He was about to greet her when she shot him. A spawn immediately. Plans for how to incorporate this development were already in place. She was faster. Homura snatched him by the neck and jammed her gun into his smiling face. Kyubey waited for the shot that never came.

"You want to contract Madoka and I don't. I've stopped you several times now." She stopped momentarily. A heavy blink, "Here's the deal. If you don't try to contract her for," another pause, "the next week I won't stop you after that." It took the alien a split second to decide.

"Agreed." Homura dropped him and walked off, determined to face Madoka's choice with the week she just bought. Kyubey had little interest in the forced promise. It would be easy to work around it and even following it would not impact his work any.

But it could prove a useful asset.

* * *

Madoka and Sayaka walked out of the mall. Their shopping was finished and ready to separate until tomorrow.

Then reality died.

The walls and floors melted, replaced by jigsaw of insanity and caution tape. Faceless men flew by in the distance. Like photo-scraps pasted along invisible planes. The two girls inched closer as the world faded away. They were not alone. Things, demented parodies of men, inched closer. Like cotton balls with mustaches glued to the front, they gibbered something unseen. The babbling horrors drew black scissor-like blades and cavorted at the frightened pair. Madoka and Sayaka backed into the other, the last vestiges of sanity begging them to flee.

The closest one exploded. The two jumped, the gunshot echoing in the nightmare. A flare of yellow light surrounded them. Another bang, one more nightmare exploded. Madoka looked about, hoping to find the familiar in the madness. The new girl from school, Homura, clad in black and purple drove in from their right. A gun in her hands, staccato bangs heralding her drive to the trapped pair. Grim hate burned into her eyes. Sayaka's attention was taken from the left. Another girl, dressed in a yellow, white and black blouse and skirt strode towards them. Muskets appearing from nowhere, firing and vanishing just as quickly.

Caught between the two, the horrors crumbled and broke. As they creatures ran the world shimmered and the place they knew, sanity itself, poked back in.

* * *

The witch fled, reality asserted itself. Homura and Mami faced each other. Once they'd been close. Not friends, but they once fought along side the other. Homura remembered her smiles, her laughter. The lunches the three had shared at her apartment. She remembered Mami's tear streaked face as she pointed her musket at Homura, crying that this was the only way. So much had happened, so many aeons of time had past. If they could ever not be enemies again Homura didn't know the words.

Homura did the only thing she could.

She left.

* * *

Next Chapter: A Lack of Understanding


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Puella Magi Madoka Magica is owned by SHAFT and Aniplex. If desired by them this story will be removed.

* * *

Madoka ran through the dream again. Twisted walls and broken skies familiar, in a way. She was at the battle sooner than her last dream. Perhaps she knew the way? Homura slammed into a wall, her bones shattered, but still she fought. A scream and she flew off, a future already decided, a fate cast in stone. A fight Homura had to win and already lost.

Madoka watched helplessly. Her twin there as well. For all her dark half's powers there was nothing she could do either. The battle was won, victory at terrible cost. Hope at long last. The Madoka in black managed a step this time. Hesitant and painful; after a moment another was ventured. Her eyes watered up, but she continued anyway. The agony was unbearable. She whispered something, too low to catch.

She woke up.

A fleeting memory of something that did not happen. Her heart felt like racing, but she was calm. What was real? What was dream? What hadn't happened yet?

_Good morning!_

It was a moment before she realized that the greeting didn't come from her family at all.

* * *

Homura leaned over her table, her breathing ragged. It felt like her stomach had dissolved, acid devouring her insides. All the pain and suffering for nothing. An emptiness cored through her. Tears would not fall, not yet. She tired thinking of things to do. To keep herself occupied. Nothing came. Her whole being had been wound up around Madoka. Now, without that goal she was nothing. The life she had before meeting Madoka was a distant memory. Homura didn't know how to be that girl anymore.

No more twisting back to fix things again. No more one more time. Everything solved. Everything taken care of. Nothing to do but wait. Time was not kind to her. A million things undone, countless words never said. An infinity, unknown and unthinkable, before her.

It took effort to eat. More to keep it down. She looked at her soul gem, darker than it should be. She grasped one of her many grief seeds and purged it. She could stay in her room and not leave and still save Madoka. Her victory, her failure.

_You have to take us back with you!_

She ran into her bathroom to throw up.

* * *

Mami's hands shook. The excitement raced through her. _Friends! Two new friends! Two friends who could talk with her! No no no, have to be calm. I'm their senior. I need to be dignified. At least until they leave. _

Mami carried out the little pastries. It was a quick job. She hoped they were good. Her nerves danced in her skin. She was trying to hard and she knew it. Months had gone by without a night like this. She'd saved two of her fellow students and both could make a wish! A lightness sprung in her heart. Someone to confide in, someone to teach and talk with. Madoka and Sayaka beamed as they looked around her apartment. This was like a movie to them. Everything about Mami's life was a fairytale they could join with a wish.

All that was left was to find the words.

* * *

Homura walked to the pair. Sayaka jumped up at her approach. Madoka rose slowly, waiting to see what Homura would do. Too many times this scene had repeated. Homura knew exactly what would be said. She knew what would be done. Nothing would change. Still she was here.

It was like she had trod this way so many times her feet were stuck in the path. Helpless to affect her own fate as she had Madoka's. She knew what she needed to say. Another chance to get it over with. Already she was making excuses. Mami was watching, there would be a fight. It would cause too many problems. She'd have to face herself.

If Homura did nothing this meeting with her once-friends would be as pointless as it had always been. Shattered promises and broken hopes lacerated her insides. Her fingers grew numb. She knew that the terrible reality was forcing her away from what she should do. Some part of her knew that she would flee again. But still she was there.

Sayaka glanced to the side quickly. She could see Mami watching from the tower across the street. It made her feel a little better. Homura walked slowly to the pair. She looked no better than the first day of school. Her eyes were bloodshot. If sleep was a part of her life out was not much of a friend. The weary girl tried to find the right words. Words she had been searching for longer than she could remember. She stopped just before them, hoping to make everything alright. She knew she couldn't. Sayaka jumped in first.

"Come to finish the job?" The would-be knight snarled at Homura. The pale girl took a moment to answer. Once she was, not friendly with the girl, but able to stand in the same room without being glared at. As much trouble as Sayaka had for Homura she could never bring herself to hate her. She'd seen the depths the girl could sink to. Depths that horrified even Kyouko.

"No, I have done what I needed to." She blinked heavily. Homura was so tired. She hadn't slept in over a day. "Madoka won't contract. That's all that matters." Sayaka glared at her. She had no idea what this new girl planned, but it couldn't be good. Was she going to hurt Madoka? Something worse?

Madoka jumped between the two. She knew Sayaka enough to stop her from doing something she'd regret later. That Homura was a Puella Magi she didn't look like she was capable of defending herself. Sayaka grumbled but said nothing more. The sudden movement was enough to make Homura back away. Only her promise to get it over with held her there. Madoka made the attempt to reconcile the two. Maybe if Sayaka knew why Homura became a Puella Magi?

"Homura, what did you wish for?" Inwardly the broken Puella Magi flinched. Before Homura could never answer her friend's question. Now, what did it matter? She held onto the chain-link fence. She felt so hollow. The words came without any force.

"I made a wish to save you." The last ethereal barrier punctured, the words gently flowed without order and importance. "I watched you die and I wanted to save you and I didn't." Her hands shook. Pain, loss, memories, too much for the young girl. She stopped. The wound too unhealed to pick at it further.

Sayaka glared at her. She was nuts as well. She carefully watched for any quick movement. Madoka didn't understand that some people were just bad. This Homura was one of them. Homura averted her eyes. More proof. Madoka pursed her lips and tired to think of something supportive to say. The poor girl had obviously been through a lot.

Homura leaned into the chains. The words were there, things she said before, behind a veil she could not pierce. Hopes that were pointless to let out. Weariness stripped away the muscles on her arms. She was so tired. Homura closed her eyes. And saw Madoka's. She jumped upright.

"You-you don't need to worry about anything. I'll take care of it." And she fled.

Madoka watched the poor girl flee. in her heart. She was obviously unwell. The last glimpse of Homura's shattered eyes remained with the kind-hearted girl. Madoka's thoughts swirled around. Darkness and light. Things missing in the picture.

* * *

The three walked side by side, Sayaka awaiting her chance to fight, Mami to impress her new friends and Madoka afraid. Green hills and yellow houses passed by. Mami kept her soul gem out, checking where her wrist had run. A building ahead, under construction. Perfect, there would be no one around. Her prediction turned wrong. A woman leaned on the frame. She wore a plain businesswoman's suit. She seemed disoriented. Her eyes didn't track the three that approached. Mami quick-stepped to the disheveled woman.

"Good afternoon! Are feeling okay?" The woman blinked a couple of times before responding.

"Oh I'm fine. I just got a little dizzy that's all." She wobbled a bit before leaning on the building. "A nice little girl said to stay out of the place." An empty smile crossed her face. She wasn't really looking at them. Mami returned her smile.

"That's a good idea, better stay outside." A brief nod and the three girls walking inside. Mami strode forth, a serious look on her face.

"She had been Kissed. A witch can make people do things. I don't know why Homura would help." Mami summoned her dress and gun. That healing would have cost her much. They might catch up. The lonely girl knew too many selfish Puella Magi. She couldn't imagine why one would just save someone for no gain.

Homura had been systematic. Every familiar was cut down. Burns and holes riddled the distorted walls. It was a terrifying reminder of the strange girl's power. Sayaka and Mami readied themselves, but there was no fight. The witch's minions were broken, too scared to challenge the new invaders. Too frightened to aid their master. Sayaka's eyes darted around, hoping to find some evil to defeat so she could impress Mami. She looked in vain. Madoka walked silently with them, wondering if this felt familiar, or if she imagined it.

The center of the witch's maze unfolded before the three. The battle was over. Homura moved with terrible speed. The nightmare couldn't catch her. A bright lance of fire slammed into the monster with every missed pass. Madoka shivered. Something was wrong. The witch screamed in agony. She flinched, Mami told her that witches were pure evil; but there was a hope in her mind that things could be different.

Light. An explosion. The witch was no more. Heat blow over the three. Sayaka winched, a brief fear about the strange girl and what she could do. The would-be hero timidly looked back to the carnage. Mami stood unfazed. She stared at Homura. The other didn't seem to notice her audience. Homura walked to the remains of the horror. Pieces of madness fell down. The real world crushing out the witch's realm. Homura picked something up from the ground. With a brief look, throw it at the group.

It was too fast for Mami's eyes. It looked like a grenade. She jumped in front of her new friends. She would save them, even at the cost of her own life! It was too close. Her hands outstretched, the bomb meters away. How much time before it exploded, how far could she get it away? Impact. She felt the pin of a Grief Seed. It was a few moments before she calmed down enough. A final glance at Homura. She was already leaving, gunning down the last few familiars on her way.


End file.
